Welcome to Holland {a beautiful story}

I don't want to go through Down Syndrome Awareness Month without sharing a story that has beautifully touched us on our journey since Sam was born. The story was read to me after we met our little man, and I've never forgotten it. We've been given the opportunity a number of times in the last 16 months to visit families in the hospital who have just had a child born with Down syndrome, and Pete always reads this story with them. It really is beautiful.

Welcome to Holland

by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

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About a year and a half before Sam was born, I was scrolling through Facebook and came across an adorable photo of a little girl in a tutu and clicked to read the caption. In that moment, I was directed to a beautiful blog. Enjoying the Small Things is written by Kelle Hampton, a mama in Southern Florida who, at the time I began reading, had two daughters. One was about four and the other was two. I was captivated by her photos and everything she was able to capture in them. Beautiful colors, artistic settings, unique angles. An abundance of life was depicted in those photos. One more thing drew me in, though; her younger daughter, Nella, had Down syndrome. 

 Fast forward to the night I met my baby boy. I had been following Kelle's blog for more than a year because of the beauty in her photos and the depth and humor of her words. Clearly, God had directed me to her blog as a way to prepare my heart for what He had in store for me. As I held Samuel in his first few days, I was able to dream of all the incredible things we would do together. I'll admit that before seeing Kelle's blog, it was hard for me to imagine life with a child with special needs. I know that reading her blog opened me to the realization that life can be full and vibrant and adventurous, which is what I needed for the moment the path of our lives changed just a bit. I am so thankful that I stumbled upon her blog. In time, I hope to be an encouragement like she was for parents of children with special needs.

Kelle also released a book just before Sam was born called Bloom. I had considered buying it before his birth, but didn't get a chance, so I ran right out for it while he was staying in the NICU. I read most of it while nursing or rocking my baby, sometimes in the middle of the night. I cried and I laughed, and sometimes I had to put it down because my heart just wasn't ready to read more. But in the end, it was very good for my start in the community of Down syndrome. It was like having another mama nearby, gently telling me her story. 

Disclosure: I was not compensated in any way for the content in the post. All opinions are my own.

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Into the Woods

Before our month of vacationing and family time comes to a close today, we were able to squeeze in one last adventure away. Late Friday afternoon, after a 34-hour shift in the ER, we packed up our camping gear and headed up the shore to Tettegouche State Park. Three years ago we made the same journey when Ella was just 15 months old. I realized that this time around, Sam is that exact age. It was a sweet few days away in a woodsy cabin, tucked in the forest along an inland lake, with meals over the fire and plenty of fresh, summer air.

We arrived at the park just after dark, but we weren't at all concerned since we'd made the trek before. Tettegouche has a set of four cabins, but a good hike in is required to reach them. On our own, the hike would be simple, but journeying with kids and the equipment they require certainly ups the load. Once we strapped on headlamps and got Sam settled in the off-road stroller, we were set. Ella led the way for a good part of the hike, taking us up and down some pretty steep hills for the 1.7 miles in to the cabin. Once we arrived, we pulled out our sleeping bags and hit the hay.

Shortly after breakfast on Saturday morning, our dear friends, the Veseleys, joined us! Having them with us made the weekend even better. Ella & Liam are just a few months apart and get along like brother and sister (loving on each other one moment & arguing the next), while Julianna & Sam are also really close in age. I've known Mike since high school and met Jen when she was in med school with Pete. We love their family! Jen & I shared my camera over the weekend, so lots of the following pics are credited to her.

Ella, the fearless water bug. She's not used to actually being able to swim in a lake since Lake Superior is so cold!

 

Hanging out with Sammy on the dock.

Miss Julianna turns one later this month & is walking all over already! How cute is she?!

Liam!

The dads taking the older kids canoeing. 

When I first met Mike like 15 years ago, he was in a punk rock band. He's passing on his ways to his son.

Rock star dads.

Cuddles with my little loves. (Sam was a little confused by the flash on my iPhone.)

Yesterday morning we packed up and hiked back out. The trip was short, but it was probably just right for the kids. Well, parents, too, since naps didn't really exist out there. How long can we go without naps? I'd rather not find out. 

Carrying a pack and two four-year-olds is no big deal, especially for a guy who just completed his first Olympic-distance triathlon. Nice work, Mike.

It was a pretty quiet drive back down the shore. The kids didn't last long before they were sleeping in the cool, air-conditioning of the Jeep. We tried to make a stop for lunch at Betty's Pies (a classic place to stop along the shore) but it was far too busy for our hungry kiddos. Dairy Queen in Two Harbors offered a quick meal..and some Sammy/Daddy cuddles. 

Such a perfect trip to wrap up an amazing month.

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Safari in the Masai Mara

Before arriving in Kenya, if we ever asked Ella what she was going to see in Africa, she would happily reply, "Elephants, zebras, lions." Well, my dear Ella, you were absolutely right. This past weekend, we had the grand opportunity to travel to Masai Mara, a game park in southern Kenya, where we embarked on our very first safari. I'm quite sure it won't be the last. That makes me happy. 

Today's photos were taken during our first game drive while staying at the beautiful Ngerende Island Lodge. Shortly after our arrival Friday afternoon, all four of us climbed into a huge, open-sided Land Cruiser with our Masai driver, Leng. Leng drove us for nearly three hours in search of creatures big and small.

The first was big. Giraffes average a height of 17 feet. This beauty was in a group of four, but we saw many during our drives. They are incredible to watch, moving with such grace dispite their size.

Leng had incredible vision for seeing wildlife long before we did and would drive us right up next to animals. Apparently, the animals saw our vehicle as one big beast, not as individual people inside, and didn't mind having us near. It was incredible.

There were roads in a few places, but we mostly stayed off them, driving as close to the tree line as possible. Whether on roads or not, the driving was intense. We splashed through small rivers and mud, climbed over steep hills, and squeezed between leafy trees. Ella loved it.

From far in the distance, we saw trees shake and approached in hopes of finding something moving amidst them. Indeed, we did. She was near a small river. As we sat watching her, we discovered two more in the trees behind her.

Ella was thrilled. She loves elephants. She often says to me, "Elephant, just like Ella. Ella Elephant. They're the same, Mommy." I adore this photo. She was giddy.

Leng took us to a spot where we could drive through the river and wrap around behind the place we had seen the elephants. After squeezing through trees that I was sure we wouldn't get through, we found this beauty. 

Soon, more arrived.

There were eight elephants in all. Each came up over a small hill into view, cautiously looked at us as they got closer, and quickly skirted past into the trees. I think our ginormous Land Cruiser made them nervous.

We continued to drive, scanning the ground beneath the trees for any signs of lions. They nap during the day, within the safety of the trees, and go into the open spaces in the evening to hunt. Somehow, we found these two sleepy lionesses. 

We parked right next to them. I mean, right next to them. Seven or eight feet. They didn't seem to mind in the least.

After they wandered toward the plain, we headed out for more discoveries. Eventually, we found the lionesses again! Ella was thrilled.

While we were stopped near the lionesses, I looked out into the long grass on the plain and saw a lion's head peeking our way. When I looked back, though, he was gone. We were told that's how they hide to catch prey. Leng had caught sight of the big guy and drove us straight out to him. 

 

He sat up but paid very little attention to us, even though we were sitting two feet from him. 

 

No joke. Two feet. You can see our shadow.

 

He eventually grew tired of our presence and wandered off. He was truly beautiful.

 

As he walked away, we noticed a rainbow far in the distance. Rainbows will always remind me of God's promises. How wonderful to see one across the African plain, the very place that we feel God has called us. His promises are good. 

What a first day we had! I have many more photos, but it's getting late and I must be off to bed. Please come back for more of our Masai Mara adventure in the next day or two. We love sharing our adventures with you!

Christmas Loveliness {an album}

Hands down, this was my favorite Christmas ever. It wasn't any one thing in particular that made it so special. It was all the little, lovely moments tied together. Ella is at the perfect age for soaking in the magic of the season. Taking her to see Santa this year was far more fun that I had imagined. She danced on her toes in front of him while asking him to bring ballet slippers and he stood and danced right along with her. Adorable. She whispered that the Christmas lights in our neighbors' yards were gorgeous and exclaimed with delight that Christmas is when we "celebrate Jesus' birthday!"

Those details were only part of it. Another was that since I hate the obligation of giving a gift just to give a gift, I tried to make each gift meaningful this year. I think I did a fairly decent job. It was fun searching through Etsy and Amazon for fun gifts way back when I was in the hospital in November. Some gifts came that way while others were second-hand things I found at shops around town. That was one change my family made this year. We've started giving thrift store and garage sale finds, which I think is fabulous, since I love, love, love second-hand shopping.

Pete had to work all the days around Christmas and was on call on Christmas Day, so I took the kids to his parents' house before Christmas and my parents' house after. Pete's sister, Kathryn, was able to fly in from Virginia for Christmas, so we definitely wanted to make our way over to see everyone.

Papa Olsen & Sammy

Ella's booster seat when we visit

Nana Olsen always does a beautiful job decorating

Auntie Kristin knows exactly what Ella loves!

Sam opening a gift with Auntie Kathryn

Nana & Papa with the little ones

The afternoon of Christmas Eve we ventured back to Duluth to be with Daddy. Ella & I made krumkake to set out for Santa with a big cup of milk. We've been working on intentionally doing things the last two years that we want to make a part of our holiday traditions.

Ella's one Christmas Eve gift

a recorded Night Before Christmas from her godfather Anton!

We spent a very quiet Christmas Day at home since Pete was on call. This is how we've spent our last few Christmases, and we love it. No expectations. No traveling or busyness. It's lovely. We started by checking our stockings with Ella when she discovered the milk and cookies were gone! She was in awe. And she got the ballet slippers she asked Santa to bring! Oh that Santa. He's got some pretty good elves, eh?

Sam's ornament from Santa

Thanks, Salvation Army, for the great slippers.

Ella picked 5 things from the dollar store for Daddy

Ella has her very own Knuffle Bunny! She loves the Knuffle Bunny books.

Ella's wanted a robe. I found this Gap size 4 beauty at Goodwill.

oops

The morning after Christmas, I took the kiddos to my parents' house where all of my siblings and their kids were anxiously awaiting more festiveness. (I like that word. Festiveness.) Being with my family is basically the very opposite of being with Pete's family. His family is quiet and traditional, which makes for a very nice environment for rest. I always consider it a vacation to go to his parents' house. Visiting my family is the complete opposite. We are made of noise, chaos, and lots of laughter. This year was the epitome of such gatherings. Six kids under five with two uncles who were all about getting the little ones as wound up as possible made the holiday pretty fun. Just as an example, my older brother brought balloons that are made not to be tied but to let out all their air while they fly about the room making crazy high-pitch squeaky noises. And this was before a single Chrimstas present was opened. It was great fun.

Malena & Ella were ready for food!

kids' table with Wyatt

Jake & his girl, Valerie. (We really like her!)

Maira, Malena, Ella, Hailey

waiting patiently

I gave her a girly tutu. Mike gave her the weapon. Jake defended himself with Ariel.

All this chaos and Malena has a plastic sword. Yikes.

I'm still tired from Christmas, which doesn't really set me up for success tonight. Unless I swing through Caribou on the way to Eli & Krista's for our New Year's shindig. At long last, we don't have to celebrate at the hospital, which is exactly where we rang in the last two new years. It wasn't all that bad since we could watch TV and eat free food from the caf. But this year I'm planning to put the kids to bed, grab an apricot ale, and ring in 2013 with long smooch with my man. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but I actually get to this year, so I'm taking full advantage. Unless, of course, a mama needs to have a C section right at midnight and he's paged in for it. That's a very real possibility. But I'm so praying it doesn't happen. Maybe he won't notice if I bury his pager in the snow.

Blessings, friends, as you ring in the New Year! There are so many good things to come.

Oh, and just 13 days till Kenya!