Welcome to Holland {a beautiful story}

I don't want to go through Down Syndrome Awareness Month without sharing a story that has beautifully touched us on our journey since Sam was born. The story was read to me after we met our little man, and I've never forgotten it. We've been given the opportunity a number of times in the last 16 months to visit families in the hospital who have just had a child born with Down syndrome, and Pete always reads this story with them. It really is beautiful.

Welcome to Holland

by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

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About a year and a half before Sam was born, I was scrolling through Facebook and came across an adorable photo of a little girl in a tutu and clicked to read the caption. In that moment, I was directed to a beautiful blog. Enjoying the Small Things is written by Kelle Hampton, a mama in Southern Florida who, at the time I began reading, had two daughters. One was about four and the other was two. I was captivated by her photos and everything she was able to capture in them. Beautiful colors, artistic settings, unique angles. An abundance of life was depicted in those photos. One more thing drew me in, though; her younger daughter, Nella, had Down syndrome. 

 Fast forward to the night I met my baby boy. I had been following Kelle's blog for more than a year because of the beauty in her photos and the depth and humor of her words. Clearly, God had directed me to her blog as a way to prepare my heart for what He had in store for me. As I held Samuel in his first few days, I was able to dream of all the incredible things we would do together. I'll admit that before seeing Kelle's blog, it was hard for me to imagine life with a child with special needs. I know that reading her blog opened me to the realization that life can be full and vibrant and adventurous, which is what I needed for the moment the path of our lives changed just a bit. I am so thankful that I stumbled upon her blog. In time, I hope to be an encouragement like she was for parents of children with special needs.

Kelle also released a book just before Sam was born called Bloom. I had considered buying it before his birth, but didn't get a chance, so I ran right out for it while he was staying in the NICU. I read most of it while nursing or rocking my baby, sometimes in the middle of the night. I cried and I laughed, and sometimes I had to put it down because my heart just wasn't ready to read more. But in the end, it was very good for my start in the community of Down syndrome. It was like having another mama nearby, gently telling me her story. 

Disclosure: I was not compensated in any way for the content in the post. All opinions are my own.

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My Little Man Sam

When people ask how my life has changed since we met our little Samuel 16 months ago, I tend to get a bit teary. I don't know how exactly to put words to the emotions I have for what we have experienced. There have certainly been ups and downs and a few unknowns. I wrote about some of the emotions tied to that in a post about learning to trust when Sam was just a couple months old. Many more months have passed, and we are still learning to trust every single day, but things feel smoother now. We're more comfortable with the unkowns, and I have no doubt that Samuel is the one teaching us how to trust through those moments.

We don't dismiss the things that make our Samuel a unique, beautiful little boy. He has Down syndrome. That is simply a part of who he is. But it's not all he is, and that's what we focus on each and every day. There was a time when I wondered if I would look into his eyes and not think, "My son has Down syndrome." I don't know when I reached that time, but it has happened. I now look into his big, bright, blue eyes and see so much potential. I see his joy. I see a boy who wants to learn and grow and experience the world as he is meant to experience it.

Who says we're all supposed to experience the world a specific way, anyway? We're each so incredibly unique. I'm excited to see how Sam gets to see the world. I want him to teach me how he experiences each moment. He's already been doing that in so many ways. I'm learning to slow down, to not be so set on a standard timeline of achievement, and to enjoy the process of reaching goals. And then, when the goal is accomplished, to really celebrate. To share with everyone that we've accomplished something spectacular. Something that most of the world may see as ordinary, but to us, through the eyes of my Samuel, it is something truly amazing.

 

And who wouldn't want to experience the world that way? I want to see beauty in simple things. I want to celebrate little moments rather than only making a big deal over the big stuff.

Recently, we've had a lot to celebrate. A few weeks ago, Sam started sitting on his own. He is such a strong boy, but his tummy muscles needed a little more practice with staying up. He gets so excited to sit up and play with toys now, especially when Ella is playing along with him. He is also waving with both hands and clapping. He loves to stand with a little assistance and is getting really good at holding onto objects to stand on his own. He works very hard at physical therapy each week and is doing so well with occupational therapy (his fine motor skills) that he only has to go every few weeks now instead of every week. Soon we'll begin speech therapy, too.

Can I tell you the REALLY exciting thing?! He has said his first word! The greatest thing is what the actual word is. ELLA. Yes, Ella! The first time we heard it, she had just left the room where the two of them were playing. He yelled after her, which sounded like her name, but we weren't sure until he said it a couple more times. Now he says it quite often. Earlier today, Pete got home with Ella after preschool and I said to Sam, "Ella's home!" Right away, he yelled, "ELLA!" It's adorable. I'm still trying to catch it on video. When I do, I'll be sure to post it. 

 We've been blessed in a way we never imagined. That's exactly why we are really celebrating Down Syndrome Awareness this month. If you'd like to learn more about Down syndrome, check out the National Down Syndrome Society resource page. Also, I'll soon be posting links to other blogs and FAQ pages with lots of information on Down syndrome.


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I am currently working on a couple really big projects that I can't wait to share with all of you! They both make me so giddy that I wish I could just tell you everything right now, but I don't feel I would do them justice if I did that. One will be revealed very soon, so check back! The other will take a couple months, but it's going to be BIG.

And no, for all you who are just so curious, neither project includes anything having to do with a baby. (That comment is mostly for you, Mom.)

I hope you're enjoying the fall as much as we are!

Christmas Loveliness {an album}

Hands down, this was my favorite Christmas ever. It wasn't any one thing in particular that made it so special. It was all the little, lovely moments tied together. Ella is at the perfect age for soaking in the magic of the season. Taking her to see Santa this year was far more fun that I had imagined. She danced on her toes in front of him while asking him to bring ballet slippers and he stood and danced right along with her. Adorable. She whispered that the Christmas lights in our neighbors' yards were gorgeous and exclaimed with delight that Christmas is when we "celebrate Jesus' birthday!"

Those details were only part of it. Another was that since I hate the obligation of giving a gift just to give a gift, I tried to make each gift meaningful this year. I think I did a fairly decent job. It was fun searching through Etsy and Amazon for fun gifts way back when I was in the hospital in November. Some gifts came that way while others were second-hand things I found at shops around town. That was one change my family made this year. We've started giving thrift store and garage sale finds, which I think is fabulous, since I love, love, love second-hand shopping.

Pete had to work all the days around Christmas and was on call on Christmas Day, so I took the kids to his parents' house before Christmas and my parents' house after. Pete's sister, Kathryn, was able to fly in from Virginia for Christmas, so we definitely wanted to make our way over to see everyone.

Papa Olsen & Sammy

Ella's booster seat when we visit

Nana Olsen always does a beautiful job decorating

Auntie Kristin knows exactly what Ella loves!

Sam opening a gift with Auntie Kathryn

Nana & Papa with the little ones

The afternoon of Christmas Eve we ventured back to Duluth to be with Daddy. Ella & I made krumkake to set out for Santa with a big cup of milk. We've been working on intentionally doing things the last two years that we want to make a part of our holiday traditions.

Ella's one Christmas Eve gift

a recorded Night Before Christmas from her godfather Anton!

We spent a very quiet Christmas Day at home since Pete was on call. This is how we've spent our last few Christmases, and we love it. No expectations. No traveling or busyness. It's lovely. We started by checking our stockings with Ella when she discovered the milk and cookies were gone! She was in awe. And she got the ballet slippers she asked Santa to bring! Oh that Santa. He's got some pretty good elves, eh?

Sam's ornament from Santa

Thanks, Salvation Army, for the great slippers.

Ella picked 5 things from the dollar store for Daddy

Ella has her very own Knuffle Bunny! She loves the Knuffle Bunny books.

Ella's wanted a robe. I found this Gap size 4 beauty at Goodwill.

oops

The morning after Christmas, I took the kiddos to my parents' house where all of my siblings and their kids were anxiously awaiting more festiveness. (I like that word. Festiveness.) Being with my family is basically the very opposite of being with Pete's family. His family is quiet and traditional, which makes for a very nice environment for rest. I always consider it a vacation to go to his parents' house. Visiting my family is the complete opposite. We are made of noise, chaos, and lots of laughter. This year was the epitome of such gatherings. Six kids under five with two uncles who were all about getting the little ones as wound up as possible made the holiday pretty fun. Just as an example, my older brother brought balloons that are made not to be tied but to let out all their air while they fly about the room making crazy high-pitch squeaky noises. And this was before a single Chrimstas present was opened. It was great fun.

Malena & Ella were ready for food!

kids' table with Wyatt

Jake & his girl, Valerie. (We really like her!)

Maira, Malena, Ella, Hailey

waiting patiently

I gave her a girly tutu. Mike gave her the weapon. Jake defended himself with Ariel.

All this chaos and Malena has a plastic sword. Yikes.

I'm still tired from Christmas, which doesn't really set me up for success tonight. Unless I swing through Caribou on the way to Eli & Krista's for our New Year's shindig. At long last, we don't have to celebrate at the hospital, which is exactly where we rang in the last two new years. It wasn't all that bad since we could watch TV and eat free food from the caf. But this year I'm planning to put the kids to bed, grab an apricot ale, and ring in 2013 with long smooch with my man. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but I actually get to this year, so I'm taking full advantage. Unless, of course, a mama needs to have a C section right at midnight and he's paged in for it. That's a very real possibility. But I'm so praying it doesn't happen. Maybe he won't notice if I bury his pager in the snow.

Blessings, friends, as you ring in the New Year! There are so many good things to come.

Oh, and just 13 days till Kenya!

Happy Tuesday!

Sammy's Heart

Six Month Check

Our Mr. Sammy Man had his six month doctor visit yesterday and passed with flying colors. I knew he would! He's growing right on the mark in every way. Just look at him! Rolls, rolls, rolls. He's now weighing in at 16 pounds 7 ounces and is 26 inches long. He's also getting quite strong, as you can see in the photo. We're so proud of our little guy!

Photo Friday: The Week

Ella told me only brothers & sisters could be in the tent. I couldn't resist getting a quick photo anyway.

 Ella has wanted to do a lot for Sammy lately. Here she was trying to snap his shirt but he kept licking her hand. It was pretty cute.

Big sister asked to have Little Brother on her lap and wanted to make sure he could see the snow.

I've always wanted an audience while getting ready in the morning! Ok, maybe not. I need to plan better.

Daddy & his boy after a long day at work.

Sleepy little man.

This was not from the last week. While I was sick, Pete did an incredible job with taking over all of my usual tasks. He even did Ella's hair. What a man. Seriously. What a man.

Thursday we played at Auntie Becky's. The girls love their popsicles!

Sammy was mesmerized by Auntie's tree.

I had two divine outings this week...alone. What better place is there than Target? And during the holiday season!

Outing two was to get my hair done on Thursday. Goodness, it was needed. Many people today have told me they don't remember seeing me with my hair down. New goal: to leave it down more often. Except that means I actually have to take time to do it. Hmm. I'll see what I can do. 

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We're continuing to make amazing progress on simplifying the house. Another big load will be going to Goodwill tomorrow. Joy! Just one and a half rooms left in the basement and we'll be finished. Then we can decorate for Christmas. I might have to share some photos of the crazy organized rooms soon. Yes, I'm that excited about it. 

I will have one more change to post, but now that the weekend is upon us, I think I'll wait until Monday. We're heading down to St Olaf for Christmas Fest tomorrow. Pete sang in the prestigious St Olaf Choir once upon a time, and it just isn't the start of the Christmas season without taking in the annual concert. We always follow the concert at our dear friend Anton's house for dessert and a sleep over. Sammy will be joining us while Ella stays in Duluth with friends. After tomorrow night's concert, Christmas will be in full swing! Yay! 

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Happy weekend, friends!